She’s Pregnant–Now What?

For Men

If your partner or friend is unexpectedly pregnant and you aren’t sure what to do, you are probably worried about her and are looking for answers. You may feel alone or shut out of the decision, yet wonder how her decision could impact you. Whether she chooses parenthood, abortion or adoption, your life will be impacted.

Whatever your situation, you are not alone. You can be an important part of your girlfriend’s decision. An unplanned pregnancy doesn’t have to end your future plans or those of your partner. At PASS pregnancy care centers all information is available for you both.

Abortion is “a woman’s choice” but the woman with an unplanned pregnancy often looks to the man in her life to help with the decision. She wants to know how you feel, and that you care and are concerned about her. She is looking to you for support because she may not be able to confide in many people about this situation.

Stand beside her in whatever way she needs. Inform her immediately that she doesn’t need to have an abortion to please you. Encourage her to make an appointment and get all the information she needs to make a decision that has been thought about carefully.

At PASS pregnancy care centers we have male advocates available to help answer any questions you may have regarding this unplanned pregnancy. Relationships are never easy adding a pregnancy to the mix complicates things and it helps to talk things through with another guy. We are here to provide you with information about pregnancy, abortion, adoption, related health issues and relationships. We are here to help.

Some ways to show her you care:

  • Let her know you’re sorry she’s the one going through all this physically, but let her know she isn’t alone when it comes to experiencing emotions.
  • Check in with her often about how she’s feeling.
  • Do something special for her such as a card, flowers, a love letter, a back rub.
  • Be affectionate, but be prepared for her not to want to be sexual. You may feel rejected, but remember that she connects sex with this difficult situation.
  • Be understanding about pregnancy symptoms. Nausea, tiredness, irritability, and moodiness are all pregnancy symptoms. If she continues the pregnancy, some symptoms like nausea may go away after 12 weeks or so.
  • If she chooses abortion, you can read over the aftercare instructions she is given. Have pain medications available and maybe a heating pad or hot water bottle.
  • If she is choosing to continue the pregnancy, you can attend early pregnancy class, be there for her ultrasound, pre-birth planning and birthing classes with her or choose from the assortment of Abundant Life classes.

If she isn’t handing the situation well, regardless of the outcome of the pregnancy, it may be a good idea to have her talk with someone. It may help for you to talk to someone too, especially if she makes a decision you don’t agree with. Male advocates at PASS pregnancy care centers may be able to help as a resource. If you continue to have a hard time with your partner’s decision, get help.

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*The information presented on this website is intended for general education purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional and/or medical advice.